DAYS OF THE ROUNDBALL: The friendly dog bracket.
The deathmatch everyone in the Midwest bracket really wants to see.
We continue our mad descent into bracketnessness with a rundown of the Midwest bracket, which we will go ahead and forecast will be ripped to shreds by the angry, probably powder blue winner of the East bracket.
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WRONG!
No. 1 Kansas versus No. 16 Portland State
Strange what another sport means to a different school. In football, Kansas is a feel-good story when it makes it to the big stage. In basketball, the Jayhawks are supreme failures if they don’t make it to the Sweet 16 — and we happily root against them.
We cannot with sound minds and somewhat sound bodies call an upset in this situation.
First of all, 16-seeds do not beat 1-seeds. Read your damned Bible.
Second, no one from a major conference should ever lose to oddly misplaced Pacific Northwest Vikings.
We can kind of understand cougars — we imagine there are some up in Pullman that like smoking dope and hang out the Price’s Choice strip clubs bemoaning Bill Doba. (more…)
LATE NIGHT SCRAMBLE: Paul Rhoads is smarter than you, Nick Saban considers punting.
He answered the guidance counselor’s phone calls real good.
Paul Rhoads was sworn in as The Barn’s new defensive coordinator on Friday. According to the Press-Register, Tubby showed his management acumen by hiring a man with a resume achievement shared only with thousands of high school seniors each year — he was valedictorian:
I do enjoy the educational process, and that’s true today with football. I think the educational process in coaching is ongoing. It takes place every day. It’s one of the things that drives me on a daily basis to become a better football coach.
The immediate Barner response on P-R’s blog talkbacks: “I like this man!!”
Hypothetical: Paul Rhoads enters the press conference, the smell of whiskey, fowl and Dave Wannstedt pollutes the air making the press gag. Painted around his mouth is a kaleidoscope of blood, feathers and eagle bile. In his hand his the hollowed carcass of “Nova”, War Eagle VII. He proclaims, “I like tasty raw bird. Me was not fed these daily in Pizz-Borg.”
Scree! Sweet death at last! Scree!
Then, the first talkback poster on al.com would say:
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I like this man!!
This post has been brought to you by Drunken Omelette’s Center for “Objective” Bashing of One’s Rival Team By Using New Stereotypes.
COBORTUNS: Because Barners like anyone who works at Auburn … except Al Borges 2005-2007. (more…)
