Drunken Omelette

We posted this photo of Human Failure Chris Rix for all of you who found us while searching for photos of shirtless quarterbacks. Yes, because we hate you.

Sorry for the sudden AWOL again, but recovery from the (repeated) night of the storms has taken longer than we expected.

We would like to give a little bit of hollah back to Roll Bama Roll, which gave us linkage that greatly enhanced our sight hittage — even well beyond Keyshawn scarf levels. Gentlemen, what you have done for this half-assed sports blog is so important that we will not even question for one nanosecond why you’re having a kind of creepy competition to judge which celebrichick is hotter*.

As for the rest of you non-Alabama fans who read said half-assed sports blog, we think you have some real problems surprisingly not related to reading this half-assed sports blog.

You see, we’ve been scanning over the search items that link people to this site and unfortunately we’ve left the halcyon wholesome days of Keyshawn and his aforementioned goofy desert scarf.

Here’s a few of the reasons why we feel like we need to spray off with a hose:

“Kyle Boller ex-girlfriend”: We’ve long been of the opinion that God hates Kyle Boller, and maybe that’s why you ended up clicking here. (more…)

“Hi, I’m that image of Jon Tenuta you’ve seen at college football sites around the Internet. I’m blitzing the hell out of you right now.”

SEC quarterbacks will be allowed to keep their spines.
Jon Tenuta, he who is used to culling a good defense from crappy talent at a academic school, has accepted a job to cull a good defense from crappy talent at a bigger, more haughty academic school.

Tenuta has been the big-name defensive coordinator candidate this off season — the Steve Spurrier-Bobby Petrino-Anonymous Atlanta Falcons Coach leave-your-keys-in-a-bowl-and-we’ll-see-who-goes-home-with-whom situation a few weeks back notwithstanding. The prevailing rumor was that he would end up with The Hat down at LSU, where he would use mutant Bayou talent to disembowel offenses and force poor little Wesley Carroll to soak his pillows in tears regardless of whether he’s really wants to be scared.

He was also on the short list for South Carolina before and after the hillbilly wife coordinator swap, and I’m sure his named would have been bandied about on Tider Insider if he’d hung out a little bit longer …

Because Dennis Franchione* got punk’d … by life and opportunity, and deserved it.
… since Tide defensive coordinator Kevin Steele’s continues to be “ominously” connected to the head coaching job of South Alabama’s start-up program. If he does depart, it’s expected to be after signing day, though defensive talent does not look to be in too short of supply on Bama’s recruiting board so far (see below).

What would be the allure of the South Alabama job? Well, it would be better than Baylor — very key to hiring Steele.

No. Not again. (more…)