Drunken Omelette

Joey Jones, showing ‘em how they roll in West Birmingham.

Hadn’t heard about the South Alabama head coaching job with all that fervor about North Carolina hiring Minnesota’s defensive coordinator? Well, the Confederate-side USA has hired former Mountain Brook High School coach Joey Jones, a one-time Crimson Tide wideout who’d made the poor life decision to reanimate the Birmingham Southern Unfunny Practical Jokes, to start the school’s new football program.

And Jones promises not to just idly let some of that fresh warm weather talent escape to the frigid, excessively temperate fields of his alma mater:

In building the first team, Jones said he intends to ‘lock down’ recruits along the Interstate 10 corridor on the Gulf Coast, particularly in Mobile.

‘When they leave the Mobile area, it’s going to be tough on them,’ Jones predicted.

How tough? Well, let’s take a look at what pitches Jones could use some of the impressive haul Nick Saban was able to claim this month from Alabama’s wet, sort of French-y parts*: (more…)

Oh, crap.
Richard Zednik of the Florida Hockey-Panthers is in stable condition after having his throat slashed open by a skate in his team’s 5-3 loss to the (really unfortunately named) Buffalo Sabres last night. Zednik reacted quickly, putting pressure on his apparently severed jugular vein while skating over to a team trainer.

We are not fans of the hockey, though this is not why. We’re glad to hear this fella is all right, but we have to wonder how something like this doesn’t happen more often, even if the folks on skates are (semi-)trained professionals.

This is why we prefer a support like football, where you only have an 80 percent chance of being killed on field:

Mmm. Safety.

JULIO! JULIO! JULIO!
We apologize for our prolonged absence, but we were distracted by issues caused by the massive, deadly tornado that ripped up much of the Mid-South early last week.

But while most of the blogosphere has put the recruiting to the bed, we will now give you our first of our delayed reactions: (more…)

“Hi, I’m that image of Jon Tenuta you’ve seen at college football sites around the Internet. I’m blitzing the hell out of you right now.”

SEC quarterbacks will be allowed to keep their spines.
Jon Tenuta, he who is used to culling a good defense from crappy talent at a academic school, has accepted a job to cull a good defense from crappy talent at a bigger, more haughty academic school.

Tenuta has been the big-name defensive coordinator candidate this off season — the Steve Spurrier-Bobby Petrino-Anonymous Atlanta Falcons Coach leave-your-keys-in-a-bowl-and-we’ll-see-who-goes-home-with-whom situation a few weeks back notwithstanding. The prevailing rumor was that he would end up with The Hat down at LSU, where he would use mutant Bayou talent to disembowel offenses and force poor little Wesley Carroll to soak his pillows in tears regardless of whether he’s really wants to be scared.

He was also on the short list for South Carolina before and after the hillbilly wife coordinator swap, and I’m sure his named would have been bandied about on Tider Insider if he’d hung out a little bit longer …

Because Dennis Franchione* got punk’d … by life and opportunity, and deserved it.
… since Tide defensive coordinator Kevin Steele’s continues to be “ominously” connected to the head coaching job of South Alabama’s start-up program. If he does depart, it’s expected to be after signing day, though defensive talent does not look to be in too short of supply on Bama’s recruiting board so far (see below).

What would be the allure of the South Alabama job? Well, it would be better than Baylor — very key to hiring Steele.

No. Not again. (more…)