Drunken Omelette


SUPER TUESDAY’S GONE SCRAMBLE: Thank you Keyshawn and your goofy little scarf.
February 5, 2008, 1:55 pm
Filed under: AL-UH-BAMA!, CHOKE! CHOKE! CHOKE!, Emmitt Smith smiles and laughs nervously., Keyshawn and his goofy little scarf., Nick Saban will kill you., The Crooming., al.commentary.


Give me the damn scarf.

Your role as an untalented Michael Irvin stand-in has made our world a little bit more popular.
Thank you Keyshawn Johnson. You inspired America’s bewilderment over while the hell you decided to wear a breezy little purple scarf in the desert for the entirety of ESPN’s Super Bowl Sunday coverage*.

And because the God-loving populace went to the Internet searching for answers, our pre-verted little sportsblog’s hits and page views mega-dupled in the past 24 hours since we made much mention of its inherent goofiness while liveblogging American football’s Super-Jesus Christmas Day.

That’s right, America: We’re not just the site that scores hits from guys searching for cuckholding porn anymore. (more…)

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SUPER BOWL LIVEBLOG, Part II: A Tom Petty halftime performance makes tonight right for something improbable and wrong.
February 3, 2008, 7:25 pm
Filed under: "DAVID TYREE IS STILL ON THE TEAM!", 18-1., CHOKE! CHOKE! CHOKE!, Plax doesn't play defense but he ownz you Brady., The game to end all games until another game is played., UoPO Stadium -- Where dreams die and Oklahoma loses.
The second half liveblog is brought to you by Roger Goodell and Tom Petty.
Smart. Low-key. Uncomfortable at all times together.
Touring this summer.
We’re happy to realize that Tom Petty was probably the best halftime act booked in a long, long time for the Super Bowl, much as we are that Baked Lay’s only contain 2 grams of fat per 15 crisps*.
Also, we’re happy to find out that Tom Petty is the voice of Lucky on King of the Hill. Many things make sense now, though few as much as Petty playing a burned-out animated Texas stoner.
The above photo makes us think that Petty and Goodell are somehow related. We will not extrapolate on this theory further to avoid any sort of copyright infringement.
Key words to listen for here:
  • Defensive struggle. This is quickly becoming one.
  • Adjustments. The Patriots are apparently good at them.
  • Cocaine binge. … Phoenix-Tempe’s a pretty big place. We’re just saying…
Let’s watch some damn football.

7:26 p.m. Wes Walker = The pinnacle of short white receiver awesomeness. ‘Nuff said.

7:30 p.m. “I can’t imagine a defense not being aware of Wes Welker.”Not this one, Troy. Not this one.
…
Oh, Fourth Down.

7:32 p.m. Salesgenie.com’s commercials aren’t appealing, just kind of racist.
7:37 p.m. And so New York self-cuckholds itself.
By the way, want to know something disturbing? Sure, we’ll tell you.We’ve found one of the biggest referring links for this site is Google searches for “cuckhold” and “cuckholding” that point toward a post we wrote about Rex Ryan.Yeah. Our thoughts exactly.

Rex Ryan has no problem with watching what John Harbaugh does with his team.

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