Drunken Omelette


We apologize, but you’re all just too weird.


We posted this photo of Human Failure Chris Rix for all of you who found us while searching for photos of shirtless quarterbacks. Yes, because we hate you.

Sorry for the sudden AWOL again, but recovery from the (repeated) night of the storms has taken longer than we expected.

We would like to give a little bit of hollah back to Roll Bama Roll, which gave us linkage that greatly enhanced our sight hittage — even well beyond Keyshawn scarf levels. Gentlemen, what you have done for this half-assed sports blog is so important that we will not even question for one nanosecond why you’re having a kind of creepy competition to judge which celebrichick is hotter*.

As for the rest of you non-Alabama fans who read said half-assed sports blog, we think you have some real problems surprisingly not related to reading this half-assed sports blog.

You see, we’ve been scanning over the search items that link people to this site and unfortunately we’ve left the halcyon wholesome days of Keyshawn and his aforementioned goofy desert scarf.

Here’s a few of the reasons why we feel like we need to spray off with a hose:

“Kyle Boller ex-girlfriend”: We’ve long been of the opinion that God hates Kyle Boller, and maybe that’s why you ended up clicking here. (more…)



SUPER TUESDAY’S GONE SCRAMBLE: Thank you Keyshawn and your goofy little scarf.


Give me the damn scarf.

Your role as an untalented Michael Irvin stand-in has made our world a little bit more popular.
Thank you Keyshawn Johnson. You inspired America’s bewilderment over while the hell you decided to wear a breezy little purple scarf in the desert for the entirety of ESPN’s Super Bowl Sunday coverage*.

And because the God-loving populace went to the Internet searching for answers, our pre-verted little sportsblog’s hits and page views mega-dupled in the past 24 hours since we made much mention of its inherent goofiness while liveblogging American football’s Super-Jesus Christmas Day.

That’s right, America: We’re not just the site that scores hits from guys searching for cuckholding porn anymore. (more…)