Drunken Omelette

Joey Jones, showing ‘em how they roll in West Birmingham.

Hadn’t heard about the South Alabama head coaching job with all that fervor about North Carolina hiring Minnesota’s defensive coordinator? Well, the Confederate-side USA has hired former Mountain Brook High School coach Joey Jones, a one-time Crimson Tide wideout who’d made the poor life decision to reanimate the Birmingham Southern Unfunny Practical Jokes, to start the school’s new football program.

And Jones promises not to just idly let some of that fresh warm weather talent escape to the frigid, excessively temperate fields of his alma mater:

In building the first team, Jones said he intends to ‘lock down’ recruits along the Interstate 10 corridor on the Gulf Coast, particularly in Mobile.

‘When they leave the Mobile area, it’s going to be tough on them,’ Jones predicted.

How tough? Well, let’s take a look at what pitches Jones could use some of the impressive haul Nick Saban was able to claim this month from Alabama’s wet, sort of French-y parts*: (more…)

The Giants’ game plan for defending Randy Moss.

That’s right: I have a valid reason to post a photo of vomit.
From ESPN.com:

But not all Giants were in the right colors, with some players turning green as a flu ripped through the team. Cornerback Aaron Ross caught something over the weekend and got sick on the plane, causing a one-hour delay upon departure from Newark-Liberty International Airport on Monday, until the mess was cleaned up.

That’s right, you just cost the team one hour they could be plotting in futility to stop the Great New England Killing Machine. One hour. Way to go.

You’d better hope we don’t run out of trombone lubricant to for Sam Madison’s knees.

Saban: ‘Don’t make me kill him. Please.’

Vaguely Irish men come to Tuscaloosa, talk with domineering little person.
Nick Saban whittled down our list of Alabama offensive coordinator candidates by talking to the likelies, Rutgers OC John McNulty and Fresno OC Jim McElwain. Some say McNulty is unlikely to take the job.

Aside from what the papers tell us Saban has spoken to two guys, we dare not predict how The Saban shall hire, lest he reach up and tear off our jaw with one supple motion of his doll-like hands.

We do, however, favor McElwain after doing a little more research(basically, reading this story about him turning down the Eastern Washington University job). McElwain reinvigorated the Fresn-O with a pro-style attack that mixed numerous looks and an assortment of formations while rehabbing a quarterback who played as recklessly as a drunken monkey with a shotgun a year earlier. That seems to fit what Saban wants to do with the Alabama O, especially solving the Tide’s own drunken monkey with a shotgun problem. (more…)