Drunken Omelette

“Yeah, when I hear the word ‘DING!’ now it sends me in a psychotic rage with my baseball bat. But Coach Wells says that’s OK for Super-Regionals … so whatever …”

The Birmingham News has a nice, brief interview with Ross Wilson up on the Bama blog today.

Oh, Ross Wilson? Not from Alabama? Don’t know the name?

“DING? … DING!”

Well, you may remember it accompanied with “Who f@)! are you throwing to …?” and America’s favorite coaching motivator — screaming the word “DING!” as loud as possible at a 16-year-old boy.

That’s right, the Two-A-Days‘ boy is now at Alabama … playing baseball. Making him the second short, Caucasian athlete Rush Propst didn’t teach how to play quarterback and sent to Tuscaloosa. (more…)

We posted this photo of Human Failure Chris Rix for all of you who found us while searching for photos of shirtless quarterbacks. Yes, because we hate you.

Sorry for the sudden AWOL again, but recovery from the (repeated) night of the storms has taken longer than we expected.

We would like to give a little bit of hollah back to Roll Bama Roll, which gave us linkage that greatly enhanced our sight hittage — even well beyond Keyshawn scarf levels. Gentlemen, what you have done for this half-assed sports blog is so important that we will not even question for one nanosecond why you’re having a kind of creepy competition to judge which celebrichick is hotter*.

As for the rest of you non-Alabama fans who read said half-assed sports blog, we think you have some real problems surprisingly not related to reading this half-assed sports blog.

You see, we’ve been scanning over the search items that link people to this site and unfortunately we’ve left the halcyon wholesome days of Keyshawn and his aforementioned goofy desert scarf.

Here’s a few of the reasons why we feel like we need to spray off with a hose:

“Kyle Boller ex-girlfriend”: We’ve long been of the opinion that God hates Kyle Boller, and maybe that’s why you ended up clicking here. (more…)

The Giants’ game plan for defending Randy Moss.

That’s right: I have a valid reason to post a photo of vomit.
From ESPN.com:

But not all Giants were in the right colors, with some players turning green as a flu ripped through the team. Cornerback Aaron Ross caught something over the weekend and got sick on the plane, causing a one-hour delay upon departure from Newark-Liberty International Airport on Monday, until the mess was cleaned up.

That’s right, you just cost the team one hour they could be plotting in futility to stop the Great New England Killing Machine. One hour. Way to go.

You’d better hope we don’t run out of trombone lubricant to for Sam Madison’s knees.

Saban: ‘Don’t make me kill him. Please.’

Vaguely Irish men come to Tuscaloosa, talk with domineering little person.
Nick Saban whittled down our list of Alabama offensive coordinator candidates by talking to the likelies, Rutgers OC John McNulty and Fresno OC Jim McElwain. Some say McNulty is unlikely to take the job.

Aside from what the papers tell us Saban has spoken to two guys, we dare not predict how The Saban shall hire, lest he reach up and tear off our jaw with one supple motion of his doll-like hands.

We do, however, favor McElwain after doing a little more research(basically, reading this story about him turning down the Eastern Washington University job). McElwain reinvigorated the Fresn-O with a pro-style attack that mixed numerous looks and an assortment of formations while rehabbing a quarterback who played as recklessly as a drunken monkey with a shotgun a year earlier. That seems to fit what Saban wants to do with the Alabama O, especially solving the Tide’s own drunken monkey with a shotgun problem. (more…)